Be resilient in-spite of it...

The past year has been one of growth and opportunity. I have learned a lot about myself and the people I have chosen to be in my life. You never really know people until shit goes south.

I have been fortunate to have some key people in my life that are down for anything. 

I have been working lately to make my house a home. To bring the things my parents left behind together in such a way that I can incorporate their memories into my kid's lives. Sometimes I fail miserably. I have been trying to understand what it means to get up and try again. I feel like I have done this so much in my life but I never really spend the time to understand what it means. 

Resilience is not for the faint of heart. I never would have thought it was for me. I was always to finicky, the one who bailed out when things got hard. Hell I still do that from time to time. When things get serious I take the opportunity to move on. I think it comes from moving around so much as a kid. I went to 13 different elementary schools. Always leaving behind the people and places I came to know. It wasn't all bad. Just tough to have any staying power when your very foundation was built on leaving. 

It also gave me a love of traveling. Gave me a chance to see many different places. 

I have a big girl job now and am trying very hard to grow as a person. I want to teach my kids what it means to have family. Let them know that they don't have to runaway from the things that shake them. This life will kick you when you're down. It will push you to the breaking point and lead you to your last breathe. The darkness is where you grow. Where you learn about yourself. The darkness can swallow you but only if you let it. I want to teach my kids how the darkness can help them to see the light. 

They grow so fast. The time to teach them is limited. I struggle with these things as well. It is difficult to teach them what I have not yet learned myself, but I want better for them. I have to try. 

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